Who’s in your village?
It is a given that everyone at some point needs support, and it comes in so many forms. Some, in a passing moment and others as an everyday necessity.
The saying “It takes a village” cannot be denied in its truth. However, for some there is a lack of that village or the knowledge of one. For me my village has always been forever changing and adapting to where I am at in my life. There will always be those that hopefully stay constant, family, good friends and your partner. But what is incredible are those people that have provided support unbeknownst to themselves. They wont remember me, but I will never forget them.
As a mother, I can without hesitation hold my hands up and say there are very many tough days. Days where you question your ability, your knowledge, your energy and even your sanity. But my village fortunately for me has always been strong. So in those moments I always had someone to call to ask that question or compare experiences. But there are moments sometimes where I choose not to ask or share, preferring to try to manage on my own. Fight through the stress of the tough days. Why are we so afraid to ask? Why so unwilling to share the bad experiences?
For the most part it must be the fear of being judged, seen as being unable. Is it an innate thing that as mothers we must do it all, without help. It cannot be, for that is not how the mothers that came before us did it. They reared each others children. This mothering world now has become so clogged with an overload of information about the right way to do everything. So fogged it is now it is hard to see an clear answer. And not even an answer but hard to even make a decision. When did it all become so much more than it is meant to be. It is not a simple role but it should be simple in its execution without judgement or blame.
For all of us we must realise our village is not just those in our circles. But it most certainly starts with us, ourselves. Let us widen that circle and always be open to inviting others to that village.
For it is forever moving. Let us not be afraid to offer help to that woman you don’t know struggling in the supermarket and let us not be afraid to accept help from the lady trying to distract our toddler at the till so we can bag our goods.
Widen that village and lessen the load.